Poor Disney Never Stood A Chance
by DragonBookLoverKitkat913
Summary: During his weekly movie night with Hazel, Nico watches Disney's Hercules. Needless to say, he's not very happy and has a few choice words for the producer. So he goes down to the Underworld to have a...chat with the directors and even Walt Disney himself. Read to see how that goes.


**Shout-out to IAmPercabeth for leaving a review that gave me the brilliant idea for this one-shot. I know I have enough on-going stories but I couldn't resist. **

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything Disney or Rick Riordan-related whatsoever.

* * *

"_What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm- What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what? Hyperspace? Hello, it's me. Nobody listens."_

Nico and Hazel stared as the credits ran, both with shocked expressions on their faces. Since Nico and Hazel lived at two different camps, once a week Nico would shadow travel to Camp Jupiter and the two children of Hades/Pluto would watch movies all night long.

That particular night, they'd decided to watch a bunch of Disney movies. Before he left Camp Halfblood, Nico had asked his friends which movies they recommended. Nico didn't really know much about movies since he hadn't seen any of them 'cause the teen's like 80 or something and hadn't had time to watch movies or TV thanks to always fighting for his life and defeating Gaea and stuff.

Percy had recommended _Lilo and Stitch_, Piper had said _Pocahontas_, Jason suggested _the Lion King_, Annabeth liked _Beauty and the Beast_, Frank had sheepishly said _Mulan_ and Leo (with a big, suspicious smirk on his face) told Nico that he should watch _Hercules_.

Despite Nico's warning that Leo had seemed a little too excited for them to watch _Hercules_, Hazel had decided that they were going to watch _all _of the movies, including the one Leo recommended. All of the movies were touching (though Nico had to pause Lion King when Mufasa died since Hazel began to cry into his shoulder for a good ten minutes). And then they finally watched Leo's choice.

Neither of them said a word for a while. The Hercules they knew was nothing like the one Disney had depicted. And that made Nico. Very. Angry. He wasn't even quite sure why. I mean, none of the other Disney movies were that close to the original story either.

Pocahontas married a different John (John Rolfe, to be exact), Belle had two sisters, though, in some stories she had like twelve siblings or something, everyone in Hamlet died unlike in the Lion King, and Mulan...Let's just say Mulan had a very different story than the one with a talking dragon, ghosts, and a love story between Mulan and Shang.

But that was beside the point. Nico could deal with all of that. After all, he had no personal connection to those stories and legends. Hercules, however, was different. Sure, he hadn't actually met the God...but Hazel had. Well, Jason and Piper were the ones who actually interacted with him.

Still, Nico knew enough to know that Hercules a) wasn't the son of Hera, b) Meg did not make a deal with Hades, c) went through a whole lot more than what the movie depicted, d) did not look like the animated version of himself, and so much more.

The thing that really bugged Nico (and Hazel, too) was how their father looked. He didn't have blue fire instead of hair, he was nowhere near that sassy (sassiness was reserved for Percy, mostly). And Deimos and Phobos (Pain and Panic) had nothing to do with Hades. They were the sons of Ares, not a couple of little demon-looking creatures.

"This was painfully inaccurate," Nico finally said, breaking the silence. Hazel nodded slowly in agreement. "I'm gonna kill Leo when I get back."

"Don't do that," Hazel whispered softly. If she ignored what the movie was _supposed _to be based on, then the film by itself was pretty good. The plotline wasn't too complicated, and Hazel really did like all of the songs. Especially '_I won't say I'm in love'_. She could picture Nico in Meg's place, back before him and Will had gotten together. Her brother had been in complete and utter denial until he spent three days in the infirmary (to that day, Nico still refused to tell Hazel what exactly had happened).

"Fine. But there is a certain person I want to speak to. Someone who was behind this terrible monstrosity," Nico cracked his knuckles but seemed to hesitate for a second. If Will found out that Nico had used his Underworld powers for something other than an emergency, Nico would be in trouble. Then again, the odds of Hazel telling Will were pretty slim. Still…"Promise me you won't tell anyone what I'm about to do."

"Is it bad?" Hazel asked. Nico shook his head. She sighed but nodded her head. "I promise."

"Good," was all Nico said before he went outside, behind the cabin he and Hazel were currently inhabiting. Hazel followed, curious to see what he was doing. "I haven't done this in awhile. Can you get me a Coke and the leftover Chinese?"

About twenty minutes later, the hole Nico had dug was deep enough to satisfy Nico. He then poured the Coke and the food into it. He'd grown stronger over the years, so he crossed his fingers he wouldn't accidentally summon a bunch of deceased spirits like he had back in the Labyrinth all those years ago.

Nico only wanted to summon one particular spirit, not a bunch of dead Greeks. He wished he had a Happy Meal instead of some cold eggrolls and rice, but Nico didn't feel like summoning his chauffer to o to McDonald's that late at night.

Hazel just watched as Nico began to chant in Ancient Greek, though what her brother was saying was beyond the young demigod. She spoke Latin, not Greek.

Eventually, the outline of a man appeared with a bluish hue surrounding him, looking very similar to a ghost. The man had a receding hairline as well as a thin mustache that partially covered the nervous smile on his face. "Um, have I done something wrong?"

"You're Walt Disney, right?" Nico asked. Hazel wasn't sure if she should be impressed or scared by the fact that Nico had freaking summoned Walt Disney himself!

"Yes, my lord. And you are?"

"Nico, the son of Hades. This is Hazel, the daughter of Pluto. We wanted to talk to you about this one particular movie you produced," Nico replied, a stern look on his face that sent chills down the back of the dead businessman. "Does the name Hercules ring a bell?"

"Um, he was the famous guy who did a bunch of stuff in Ancient Greece, right?" Walt was scared beyond belief. There he'd been, living out his boring afterlife, and then boom! He was standing before a very angry looking demigod and his curious sister.

"Yeah. And you completely butchered his story!" Nico exclaimed. "I mean, first off, Hercules wasn't the son of Hera. The whole plot behind his stories was that Hera hated him and kept trying to kill him. And technically, he was called Heracules in the Greek stories. He was only Hercules in the Roman versions."

"But I-"

"Hold on, I'm not done! I get this was a kid's movie, but you still could've tried to make it more similar. You could've had Hera be the villain. You didn't have any problem with the evil stepmother thing for Cinderella and Snow White. Then you had Phil be his mentor when Chiron was the one who trained him."

"Sir, if I could just-"

"And Pain and Panic looked nothing like Deimos and Phobos," Nico took a breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Okay, they were for comedic relief so I guess I get that. But the pegasus? Really? The pegasus was the son of Medusa, not a creation from Zeus.

"Do you realize that Hercules ended up killing Meg? Who, by the way, had no such deal with Hades. And why did my dad have to be the villain? I don't want to be cursed by Hera or anything, but couldn't you have made the main villain be King Eurystheus?

"The other movies were more accurate than this. If anyone with a love of Greek mythology, or a demigod like myself, saw this, they'd be painfully aware of how many flaws and plot-holes are in this movie."

"Nico, I think he's trying to say something," Hazel interrupted. Nico blinked before he realized that poor Walt seemed to be on the verge of tears at that point. "Go ahead, Mr. Disney."

"I was dead for thirty years when this came out!" Walt exclaimed before he buried his head in his hands. "I died in 1966, and Hercules came out in 1997. I'm sorry that it offended you, but I swear I had nothing to do with it!"

"Oh," Nico felt bad. He'd thought Walt had been in charge, but he guessed he'd been wrong. He rubbed the back of his neck, a mixture of embarrassment and awkwardness written across his face. "Then who were the directors/producers?"

"Um…" Walt really didn't want to throw anyone under the bus. But at that moment, he really just wanted to go back to being dead instead of being shouted at by the son of a freaking God. "Ron Clements and John Musker. They're both still alive, I think."

"Interesting," Nico muttered to himself. He'd have to do some digging to find out where exactly the two men lived. Or at least, where he could send a very angry letter to. "My bad then. Sorry for your troubles. I'll send you back now."

And with that, Walt disappeared. Hazel looked at the spot the former owner of the Walt Disney company had just been standing on. He had looked so sad. "I think that was a little harsh."

"I know," Nico admitted. Though, truthfully, he hadn't even gotten half-way through his rant about the inaccuracies with the film. "Wanna watch something besides Disney?"

"Well, I feel kind of bad. Maybe we should watch one of the films that Walt actually did produce. Like that Sleeping Beauty film that Frank told me about?"

"Fine," Nico agreed, though he made a mental note to both yell at Leo and to find out more about Clements and Musker once he returned home.

Back in the Underworld, Walt felt sorry for the two men in charge of Hercules. He didn't know what exactly the "Ghost King" had in store for them, but he knew it wouldn't be good. After all, the odds of that Hazel girl being there to save them from the dark-haired teen's wrath like she had that night were slim. Very slim.

* * *

**AN: I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot. I'm currently writing a bunch of stories (only one of those has been published so far) where the Heroes of Olympus cast star in popular Disney movies. And I have a few other Rick Riordan fanfics too. So if you guys liked this, you might want to check those out. Thanks for reading!**

**\- Kitkat Out! **


End file.
